Running on Empty

Hiiiiii, I haven’t done one of these in a while so expect rambling nonsensicalness but I’ve honestly missed writing down my: thoughts, feelings, things that have happened to me ect cause there has been a lot these passed two months. I haven’t really had time to write everything down which bugs me, I often read other peoples dairy-like entires with envy. In fact the only reason I’m writing this is because I’m sick. Physically too ill to even think about going out or doing law revision. To the point where even thinking about revision or alcohol gives me an acute headache in the frontal lobes of my brain.

First things first I have my first ever journalism job! Not only that but it’s my dream job, as clique as it sounds it’s true. I managed to get a job writing for a website called StudentCom which is a website for students and is actually in association with the university halls I’m living with as part of StudentCom is an ISP (internet service provider). That’s not why its my dream job though I was honestly over the moon with being accepted into something real and tangible  not just this concept of learning things that have no use to me in the here and now so therefore having poor motivation for what I was doing in university is now boosted up.

StudentCom basically is working with Festival Republic who run all the mayor festivals in Europe and ask me to be a representaive for Reading festival (well I applied by showing them the type of reviews of albums I could do) and they said YES!!1! I was jumping and squealing and laughing told my best friends and they they were honestly just as happy because they know how much music means to me.

Music is basically my best friend I don’t really care how that sounds. Music doesn’t let you down like people do. There is music for every mood and occasion and I honestly couldn’t live without it. It dictates so much of my life already so working on something that you love means a lot okay I wont go deeper than that.

A bunch of other stuff happened gig wise as you can see from the array of journalism pieces I’ve done on them.

Social life wise things are really good, me and a few friends finally got a house sorted for next year which is a huge weight off my shoulders. I’ve been hanging out with the ladz a lot aka my friends that aren’t from my hometown and aren’t from uni. I love being with them because we all basically have the same vision, talk the same, act the same and just have that really weird humour no one else seems to get. But as much as a love being with them, travelling to see them/having them stay here is taking it’s toll. I’m honestly exhausted, missing class (well once and I still feel guilty for that) and turning up late (again only by like 15 minutes) isnt really my style.

When I’m with my uni friends I’m often exhausted and find it hard to communicate and I miss them a little bit. Even a term in and I’m still making good friends though which is nice. In fact me and a girl I met happen to be a fan of the same band and are going to see them together in May which is nice. I’ve only known her for about 3 weeks and every time we’ve talked in person I’ve been drunk or on the way to being drunk which isn’t ideal but I’m hoping we’ll hang out more when I have more free time. (Which looking at my calendar isn’t gonna be for another 3 weeks)

As for the home friends me and my best friend are as sold as ever though we only speak to ask one another if we’re going home. Every single time without fail we always seem to end up coming home on the same day without one bit of planning which goes to show how in sync we are. Then in turn go out for lunch and have a monster chat about everything and anything. I miss her but we’re good. Same with my other friends, a few likes of a picture on Facebook, a random snapchat and I know we’re good. Having those friendships where you don’t have to talk everyday to feel like you’re good are friendships I thrive on though most aren’t like this due to general insecurities from bothsides. I hope that soon my uni friends become stronger bonds but I guess that comes in time, for right now they feel kind of delicate but I intend to just be myself and see how it goes.

Family stuff is weird. I feel very different now than I did last term towards that atmosphere. I use to go home almost every other weekend but now I’ve only been home once with no real desire to be there. Not that I dislike home or my family-I love them but this new independence in my life feels good. I’m no longer afraid of responsibility or feeling vulnerable and in need of protection as I once was before. I don’t need that constant reassurance I use to craved and my parents are getting use to that slowly but surely. Agin like the friends thing. I don’t have to see them to know we’re good-if anything less arguments happen this way!

Anyway I’ve just taken a monster headache pill so its time for bed and this update to be over.


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