Since Halloween has recently come and gone I thought I’d share and explain a few of my fears because the timing seems relevant enough. Halloween is a time where we bring out our dark side whether that be by dressing up, decorating the house or just watching a particularly scary film. I however don’t particularly enjoy halloween, being the scardy cat that I am the holiday just brings up thoughts that I’d rather ignore like death also I’m on the squeamish side and have been known to faint at the sight of blood which isnt as funny as it sounds trust me.
My first fear is one I mentioned earlier; death. It’s inevitable so there is no way to avoid it and thats my root fear of it which I’m sure you’ll agree is a fair enough. You can only prolong your life no one lives forever but I don’t really think I want to to live forever anyway. I’m not striving for immortality though maybe I was once before a few years back when death was a topic that played on my mind a lot due to the fact vampires were all the rage. The Twilight film franchise booming also TV programs such as The Vampire Diaries being aired constantly referred to the fact that Vampires don’t grow old and don’t die. I think I envied them and constantly thought about my own mortality. I came to the conclusion that in the end I was fine with my mortality and in fact thinking back those vampires I mentioned before they themselves actually envied the human life span cause I suppose it would be a lonely and boring life after a while. The unknown is my biggest issue as there could be an afterlife and there could not, there isn’t a way to find out 100% what happens-if anything. Being a catholic and attending catholic primary and secondary schools along with a catholic college I am a firm believer in the afterlife but as I am still young I often wonder what it would actually be like, the skies the limit they say but honestly when it comes to this stuff I don’t think there is a limit.
Another fear of mine is the fear of…dogs. Yes I’m aware this is rather anticlimactic and I often get shocked and confused reactions when I tell people because everyone it seems is a dog lover. I have nothing against dogs I swear I find them really cute actually, it’s just when it comes down to physically being with one where I get freaked out. They are just so uncharacteristically friendly like no other animal-humans included! Just because they feel comfortable sticking their noses in your face and pawing your clothing doesnt mean I am. Dogs have teeth and claws that they can happily use on you, they are, like most things, unpredictable. What annoys me the most is dog owners themselves seem to think their dog is predictable when logically they are not. Saying such classics as “he doesn’t bite” and “my dog is very well behaved” well actually I yes your dog does bite, unless you’ve musseled it or extracted all its teeth I don’t see how you can make that statement if I’m honest, and yeah your dog does what it says most of the time but what if today they aren’t really feeling it, then what? They can easily switch from a happy pup to an aggressive one so keep it on a leash or keep it away from me.
Okay I’m going to share one last odd fear which is my fear of being alone. Now there are two types of being alone; one being alone with no one around you aka the more obvious type of alone you’d think of or my fear of feeling alone even when your not. I happen to love my own company and often get lost in my own thoughts about anything and everything but feeling alone is a whole other thing. It’s like feeling invisible or worthless that people don’t want to talk to you and you’re never really sure if its all in your head or a genuine vibe your getting from them. But more often than not its just how your feeling not others and it’s up to the people around you to pick up on it and cheer you up. Lucky I’ve found some good friends to do this so I often don’t feel the panic I use to when walking into a room full of strangers because I’m more confident in myself.
So there you have it! Three fears that I’ve overcome (okay still not really with the dog thing) Happy belated Halloween! Feel free to comment below if you have the same or different odd fears I’d love to read them.